The Shadow

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” - Carl Jung

The enigma with the shadow parts of yourself is that it’s misconstrued as being evil and shameful. But like any other treasure it requires digging through the dirt and rubbish before you get to the good stuff, and in this case the most treasured parts of what makes you unique is in the leery “Shadow” self.  Why we never look to the side of ourselves that we feel the most shame is because it’s rooted in being rejected, judged, and exposed.

The main stakeholder in the shadow is repression, our childhood shapes how we deal with emotions and eventually bottle up. This creates the forming of the shadow from childhood.

Not being a good student: I don’t do well on test, and I get bad grades.

Shadow formed: I’m not smart and my parents are embarrassed of me. I am not good enough.

Truth Behind it: I learn differently than others, I am smart in my own creative way and maybe that hasn’t been discovered yet.

You are too sensitive: People have always called you sensitive or you cried too much as a child.

Shadow formed: my feelings don’t matter and how I feel Is an inconvenience to my family. I am invisible to others. You learn to hide and bottle up your emotions

Truth behind it:  You feel deep and have empathy, you are a good listener and probably have a gift to emotional heal and hold space for others.

As we grow up, we begin to shrink ourselves to fit the mold of what is acceptable to others and abandon our unique traits and needs. This is a bit tricky because we forget who we are but have this deep sense that something is off; but we can’t quite put our finger on it. This feeling is repression; the unconscious process of pushing unwanted or uncomfortable memories, feelings, or ideas out of conscious awareness.

The Shadow Forms

Inner tension: feeling like you can’t fully relax into who you are.

Guilt or shame without clear reason an internalized sense that something is wrong with you.

Self-judgment: the voice in your head is harsh, critical, or belittling.

Fear of being exposed: worried others will “find out” the real you aren’t good enough.

Emotional numbness: instead of feeling fully alive, there’s a dullness or disconnection.

Triggers: disproportionate anger, jealousy, or irritation that doesn’t match the situation (these are shadow projections trying to be seen).  A sense of split identity: the person you show the world vs. the person you know deep inside.

In our adult years we may reach a breaking point, this looks different for everyone but reveals itself through a personal breakdown of frameworks we put in place to keep the shadow hidden. You may experience one or more of the following on your journey.

Addictions run their course: addictions to shopping, alcohol, gambling, sex, food, or religion. They are no longer numbing the pain of not living from true authenticity.

Relationships end: Marriage or long-term partnership end and causes us to face ourselves.

Jobs and Career: You either get fired or forced out of your job. You feel like you can’t fake it anymore with work, you are called to do something with meaning and from the soul.

Depression and Anxiety:  The deep sense of sadness and emptiness is too much to bear. You truly can’t go on living the path that you’re on and start to look for answers.

This is where the treasure is hidden; we just need to recognize the emotions we have been running from our whole lives can be transformed. The shadow is the womb of creativity. Whatever is repressed or denied holds massive life force. Once we bring the shadow into the light; expression comes out as art, innovation, or genius. It is unlocking the door to the most authentic version of self, free to create a life that’s worth living. Creativity is often “masked as bad” because it carries the unfiltered essence of who we are; the part that didn’t get permission to exist. When we reclaim it, we not only create art, but we also restore a piece of our authentic soul.

“The shadow is the greatest teacher for how to come to the light.” - Marion Woodman