The Elixir
The path of surrendering into self-trust, self-guidance, and the slow reprogramming of limited beliefs. On this path, I learned to never count myself out. To rely less on external validation the constant longing for something outside of myself to make me feel safe.
I have stretched so much of what I thought was unchangeable about life, myself, and my emotions to hold much more complexity and self-discipline. Letting go of outcomes required me to sit face to face with fear as it shouted for me to turn back, to shrink, to conform to my old coping mechanisms. My old identity’s loudest message was … “you are not worthy to live a soft life, you are not good enough to have all your desires”
And yet, with holding the contrast of emotional pain and resonance with the divine, I forged my way on the path of the unknown.
Sometimes grounded. Sometimes terrified. Sometimes exhausted.
But always willing to return to the path; even when it remained dark, unseen, and like still waters.
There is an order beneath all of creation, a structure that precedes form. Consciousness itself is intelligent, directional, and organizing. In that sense, it is masculine, not as gender, but as principle. It is the architecture behind becoming.
Creation, then, is the feminine expression of that order. It is the womb through which intention enters form. It is stillness, receptivity, gratitude, and the willingness to be available to receive what is meant to arrive. Being comes first.
From that place of being, action arises naturally. Doing is no longer forced or frantic…it is guided. It carries momentum not because of strain, but because it is aligned with something greater than personal will. This is not hard work. This is not resistance. This is flowing from one thing to the next with trust.
When I allow myself to be still first
open-hearted, receptive, listening
what follows feels like truth.
The next step reveals itself, and I take it with reverence. Not because I am pushing life forward, but because life is moving through me.
This is why trust works. This is why surrender is not passive.
Everything changes
But the space that allows change is constant
And that constancy is why faith is not irrational
It is structural, It is intelligent.
There is an order here that I cannot fully understand. But when I meet it with an open heart, when I loosen my grip and listen instead of demand, I am always held.
I have felt this order most clearly in moments of stillness. Driving up the coast standing beside open roads after rain, watching animals graze beneath a sky that asks nothing of me in exchange for witnessing its beauty. In those moments, doubt disappears. Not because I understand more, but because I understand less. And that is the medicine.
There is a forgetting that happens when we live too far from the land, too far from silence, too far from the rhythms that do not require productivity or proof. We forget that life moves by a natural intelligence; that there is a dance here, mysterious and unexplainable, unfolding whether we rush it or not.
And perhaps that is the invitation…not to master the dance, but to witness it; and that’s the elixir on the path that gives you strength. To remember that trust does not come from control, but from witnessing beauty without the egos need to break it apart to consume.
Surrender eventually becomes quiet, not loud. Spacious, not urgent. And that is the natural response to divine order…
Reverence for what we can’t understand.
